What to Say After Your Child's Tough Day Sailing on the Water

Sailing isn’t an easy sport.

And parenting a disappointed sailor can be just as hard.

As parents, we celebrate the wins, cheer from the shore, and quietly hope our child comes off the water with a smile on their face.

But sailing doesn’t always go to plan.

In fact, if there’s one thing I've learned, it’s that sailing rarely follows a plan.

There are so many variables in this sport—the wind, the weather, the tide, the competition, equipment, and the countless decisions made in every race—that even the best preparation can’t guarantee the outcome.

When young sailors arrive with a fixed expectation of how the day should unfold, disappointment can follow when reality looks very different.

That’s one of the greatest lessons sailing teaches.

You can’t control the wind.

You can’t control the tide.

You can’t control what the rest of the fleet does.

The only thing you can really control is you… and if we’re honest, some days that’s the hardest part.

It’s a lesson our children are learning every time they launch their boat.

And honestly, it’s a lesson I am still learning as parents too. On a good day I control myself!

Sometimes watching my child can be emotional (when I can see him, often viewing areas are a long way from the race, but that's another blog).

I can see the conditions are tough, the wind has picked up the waves have too.  You can often tell before they even reach the ramp whether it’s been a good day or a hard one.

Every sailor comes off the water in a  different emotional state.Some come off the water in tears.Some come ashore quiet and withdrawn.

Others come off the water like a raging bull—frustrated, snapping at the people they love most, and saying things they wouldn’t normally say.

and others are happy they made it through the session.

As parents, it’s easy to take those moments personally.

PLEASE DON'T

The emotions in this moment have very little to do with us.

Remember they’re the result of hours spent battling the wind, making split-second decisions, feeling disappointed, finding moments of fun, and carrying the weight of expectations they may have placed on themselves. 

That doesn’t make hurtful words okay. But it can help us respond with understanding first, recognising that what we’re seeing is often the emotion of the day spilling over.

I have done this well and I have done this poorly.

The car ride home.

It’s quiet.

Or it’s tense.

Or it’s filled with frustration.

As parents, we desperately want to make it better.

We want to ask questions.

We want to understand what happened.

We want to fix it.

But over the years, I’ve realised something.

My child does not need me to analyse the race on the drive home.

They do not need another coach.

They need a parent.

Sometimes the most powerful things we can say are the simplest.

“That looked like a really tough day.”

“Would you like to talk about it now, or would you rather wait until later?”

or IF they are ok you can ask "what did you find fun today?"

"Who did you speak to?"

This next statement deserves much more time than I can give it right now..

One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the freedom to have a bad day without feeling like they’ve let us down.

We put a lot of effort into them being on the water. It does take a crew and I have to be mindful to not have expectations around him too or I will add to the disappointment.

One day, our children probably won’t remember every result, every finish, or every trophy.

But they will remember how they felt after the hard days.

They’ll remember who sat beside them in the car.

Who listened.

Who encouraged them.

Who reminded them that one race or session doesn’t define them.

Our job isn’t to coach.

Our job is to lean in, listen and see if they love the sport enough to come back next weekend.

Until next time

Cara

Ready to wear your support for Australian sailing with pride? Have a browse through our latest range and find your new favourite piece for the next regatta, the sidelines, or just everyday wear.

VIEW COLLECTION